Taibhse_aingli (unwanted_air) wrote in scaryminds,

but not for you

I always state how im waiting to be saved why do i feel as though i need someone in order to be happy in order to live a real life i dont want that i never wanted to be this person yet im destined to do it i have had enough of my own complaining and my own torture i put myself through i dont want your help i dont need it not anymore i need to be alone i need to do my own thing without you without any of you the world my need you but my world is perfect withtout the world of lies that surround the place created when i trust you i dont need your love i dont need you to need me....

i remain in my own darkness my own hell created over several years of instintual hatred for myself. i cant be your pretend picture any more. im not happy and im not free but im not kept down by your shady acts. not pushed further into hollowness by your lies. keeping me from trying anything myself. this is as free as i get living without you.my world isnt perfect it isnt wonderful but its mine. its the life i have always lived and i have always known, one day i will learn one day it will be perfect.

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